Reminders Keep Coming
25 Jul 2010 at 1:31 pm. 7 Comments. 236 views.
I’ve heard it said and I’ve seen the look in people’s eyes. “When are you going to let all this go and move on?” I stopped responding to that question. I’ve learned that any amount of explaining I do is wasted air and just makes me look like I’m a) in denial, b) clinging to the past, c) looking for sympathy. I, however, believe I’m doing none of those (denial, what?) Gosh, I sure wish I could just click an Easy button and be done and move on. Reality is that when big, bright stars explode the energy released sends ripples out far into the galaxy. Maggie was the brightest star I know. My galaxy will be feeling those ripples for a long, long time. (more…)
Smiles at the Movies
24 Jul 2010 at 4:08 pm. 1 Comment. 191 views.
I’ve been slowly and somewhat painfully going through my piles of stacked-up letters, bills, insurance crap and other miscellany that I collected last year during The Dark Days. It continues to be a tough chore but it needs to be done. More specifically, it needs to be done now because of timely tax issues I’ll write about later. But the process put me squarely back into the months, weeks and days before Maggie’s Angel Day (oddly enough, the days after are just blank.) Thus, as you might imagine, all today I’ve been in quite a funk that’s been hard to shake. My heart has hurt (and is still hurting) deeply. (more…)
Maggie’s Diamonds
23 Jun 2010 at 8:41 pm. 7 Comments. 519 views.
Why today, I’m not sure. But today was a day of amazing… well… Let’s just say that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt my wife’s loving kisses. As a well-educated, rational man I try not to look too far for things that might could be interpreted as messages from, you know, (insert creepy echo sound here) The Great Beyond. I suspect that children would argue, were they equipped with such skills, that our grown-up filters get in the way of seeing the magic that’s right in front of our eyes every day. Well, today, I was presented with something I find difficult to easily dismiss. Fortunately, about such matters (a relatively recently decision, like, for the last 415 days) I’ve been more open than closed, accepting than judging, more faith than fact. Today just took my breath away. (more…)
A Deer Story
22 Jun 2010 at 8:46 pm. 7 Comments. 435 views.
Driving to the store I drove past two very little fawns playing in a yard. Spotted, about a foot tall and cute as buttons but alone, I couldn’t help but wonder where their mom was. I watched in horror in my rear-view mirror as one of them darted right across the same road I just blew down. The other followed quickly. Thankfully, the only car in the immediate vicinity was the one I was driving but the guy jogging, the lady walking her dog and the lady standing out in her yard collectively exhaled as the little guys made it safely to the other side of the road. Holy cow, I thought. So adorable yet so precariously placed. I flipped a u-ee and headed back. (more…)
Fear of Bullets
21 Jun 2010 at 11:58 pm. 5 Comments. 382 views.
Living in a time capsule is my daily reality. I’ve made paths around the house that are, as my friend Kyle calls them, pig trails. If I wander too far off those pig trails I hit the past. But lately when I do, the past doesn’t hurt quite so much anymore, or maybe I’ve nurtured nostalgia to replace the pain. Nurtured/ developed/ replaced/ inserted/ forced/ whatever…. It just doesn’t hurt as much these days. (more…)
Done with Chase Bank
16 Jun 2010 at 10:45 am. 8 Comments. 587 views.
Friday I received a FedEx envelope from JP Morgan Chase Bank that contained one printed check payable to The Estate of Maggie Mae Weaver for the full amount of her IOLTA account. Done. I will do my best to never do business with Chase Bank again. (more…)
Chase Blinks
9 Jun 2010 at 11:28 pm. 5 Comments. 598 views.
So, I had a long couple of talks today with Jimmy Laguna from the Executive Services department at JP Morgan Chase in Houston. I learned a lot. (more…)
Level Check
8 Jun 2010 at 9:50 pm. 6 Comments. 418 views.
Two hours and fifteen minutes. No biggie, I thought. I’ll just read one post while I’m cooking supper. Two hours and fifteen minutes. With the news story and all my getting out and having fun I seem so strong, so adjusted, so… so… over it. So, while my Shake ‘n Bake chicken cooks, I’ll flip over to the blog, and read just one post titled Not Much Farther. I wrote it the morning of the day It happened, the day she died. Two hours and fifteen minutes. That’s how long I sat in the floor and cried. That’s how “over it” I am. (more…)
KVUE News Team Lends A Hand
3 Jun 2010 at 11:18 pm. 18 Comments. 760 views.
For good or for bad, I gone and done it. I called in reinforcements. Well, to be accurate, my good friend Alan called in reinforcements and I agreed to participate because, well, this is just ridiculous and he’s right – I’ve been nice long enough. (more…)
Progress Every Day
26 May 2010 at 9:27 am. 6 Comments. 545 views.
Slowly but steadily I’m navigating through all the million little details of the cleanup from the last four years. I feel like me and those poor folks in New Orleans have something in common – a slow, painful, and laborious cleanup. But, progress every day is my goal, even if just a little. And I’m making it. Fortunately, my feet are a little more stable now and I feel stronger every day. Thankfully, the space I can wander around in without hitting a tender spot is getting bigger. (more…)