Maggie met with Dr. Loukas on Wednesday.  There’s not a whole lot of new news.  They discussed a few things: how dangerous getting a cold was, if she could get a flu shot, how long he thinks she has left to live – all pretty simple stuff.  His answers were, respectively, pretty dangerous, yes, and 1-3 years.  Onward we go.

Friday we get treatment, her second round of FOLFOX.  This new type of chemo is definitely causing more nausea than the Xeloda/CPT-11 mix, which sucks.  Of course, we have earlier this year to compare to so from that perspective we are doing great.  Nonetheless, I hate her suffering.  It’s even worse to know she’s suffering without me around to care for her.

All the hair is gone again now.  But hopefully, with the new treatment, it will be growing back.  It’s a little unclear if that will happen but that’s our Christmas wish (well, it’s her wish which makes it my wish.  Personally, I love her with or without hair.)

Aunt Sara is participating in a the 3 Day Walk for Breast Cancer.  Yeah, it’s the wrong type of cancer but it’s the thought that counts.  She signed up after she found out about Maggie as a way of coping.  It’s a grueling 60 mile walk in 3 days.  Wow.  And she raised over $2,000 for the fight against breast cancer.

Insurance is playing games again.  First, they claimed I didn’t pay last month’s bill despite clear evidence they cashed my check.  Now, they’ve decided that some of Maggie’s most expensive meds are under question, including the life-saving Neulasta shot that she gets every two weeks now.  Yes, the infamous $6,900 shot.  And today I got a mysterious call where the woman on the other end of the phone said cryptic stuff like “…unauthorized medications” and “don’t owe money this time” and “won’t pay for them anymore.”  I’m still not sure what that’s all about but it makes me nervous.  But, as I’ve said before, I’m determined not to worry too much until there is a really clear problem to worry about.

Speaking of worrying, I can’t help but think about how expensive my schooling is and comparing that with what I’m getting out of it.  It’s funny in a raised eyebrow kind of way (as opposed to a belly laugh kind of way) when my classmates complain about lost salary or student loans.  I wish I had the same concerns.  I wonder if, in hindsight, this year will turn out to be the most expensive year of my life.