A very good friend of mine claims that bad things come in groups of threes. Since Friday we’ve wracked up two pretty solidly crappy events each leaving me with a sick feeling. Worse, I worry, when’s the next one coming? I’m not looking for it, really, but if it’s coming let’s get ‘r done.
Crappy Event #1: Saturday night Maggie and I were headed to meet two of my classmates for supper at one of my favorite restaurants, Taj Palace, for a respectable gut-stuffing. We didn’t make it far from home before we came upon a real mess. A vehicle had just hit a deer on Far West just down the street. The vehicle was gone but the deer was still there and very much still alive. It was a horrendous scene to behold, the details of which I won’t relate but I will for years have that scared deer’s last moments burned in my brain. We sat by the road with it for more than 30 minutes as it lay there looking around wondering what to do next. Occasionally, it would try to stand up to run away back to its former life but that was a heartbreakingly impossible task. Slowly, it laid its head down and began to accept its fate. Absolutely heart wrenching.
Crappy Event #2: Yesterday I found out that one of my baby boys, Rex, has fallen seriously ill. He’s gone blind, quit eating and drinking, and has become very lethargic. The vet today played the part of Captain Obvious – something is badly wrong and he may die soon. The problem is likely neurological and unrepairable. Without a lot of luck, this will play out quickly.
Months ago, we had sent both the boys to live with Lisa in a sorrowful acknowledgement that The Cancer had won this one battle. Now, seeing him sick like this breaks my heart yet again. Knowing that his brother is still in Houston alone and confused breaks what’s left of my heart leaving only scars and scabs, it seems.
Rex’ll be staying with us from this holiday week on where we’ll care for him until… well, until something else happens. At least what may be his last days can be spent with those who raised him. Lisa was truly a wonderful foster-mom but I know that it makes him happy to have Maggie around. (That runs in the family!) When she picked him up today, it was obvious that even with his newly blind eyes he recognized his mom. At once if just for a moment he was just a little bit.
A while back I had made a commitment, a life change, to not borrow problems from the future, to only spend my energy on the problems currently at hand. It tough to keep that commitment sometimes. Making it more difficult, I can’t help but to draw parallels from what I’ve experienced over the last three days to our future. That’s natural, I figure, but it doesn’t make it easier.
For tonight, or at least for right now, I’m going to stop looking for Crappy Event #3. If it’s coming it will show up soon enough and should be pretty darn clear when it does. No need for me to play Captain Obvious when it appears.