Today is the 6th month anniversary of Maggie’s death. So much has changed. And yet so many things are exactly the same as they were.
Things Still The Same:
- Her side of the closet. Heck, nearly both sides of the closet sans the clothes of mine I’ve moved to the living room coffee table
- Her various business and personal accounts, her “affairs” I suppose they are called.
- Her phone still is connected. Her outgoing voicemail message is the last recording of her voice I have. How goofball is it that I’m paying the phone company $120 per month to keep 10 seconds of her voice alive?
- Still haven’t burned the Messages to Maggie
- Still haven’t planted the tree at Baylor
- Her ashes still keep me company on my desk
- I still sleep on her side of the bed
- I still drive her car around, top down, blasting the music because it makes me feel close to her
- I miss her so, so much every single minute.
- I don’t cry every day anymore.
- I’m out and about, being social and having fun times. (Halloween, BTW, was off the charts fun!)
- I have new friends who only know Maggie from her reflection in my eyes which makes me unbelievably sad.
- I have new friends who don’t even know about Maggie. Wow.
- I eat very healthy and am in better shape than I’ve ever been in my life. Maggie would be shocked and thrilled.
- I’m working on a fun project with a friend of mine.
- I’ve been on dates (gasp!) with other wonderful-but-not-my-wife women.
- My memory is shot. I mean shot. If I don’t write things down then I won’t remember them, sometimes from hour to hour. My psyc says that it’s reasonable for this to happen after such a long-lasting, traumatic event. I hope it comes back soon.
Ok, let’s keep going and see where we end up.
2 thoughts on “Six Months Down”
Chris, I’m so very proud of you and how great you’ve done these last 6 months. Maggie would be shocked and thrilled, you are correct. I was driving to work this morning and watching the sun rise and it reminded me of how beautiful the sun rise was from your home that 6 months ago. I still have pictures of it on my phone. Gorgeous!
Can’t beleive it’s been six months already and yet it almost seems liek a lifetime ago. Sometimes I have trouble wrapping my head around the fact that she is actually gone.
I’m really glad that you’re doing well and taking care of yourself.
Hope to see you soon,