Six Months Down

Today is the 6th month anniversary of Maggie’s death.  So much has changed.  And yet so many things are exactly the same as they were.

Things Still The Same:

  •  Her side of the closet.  Heck, nearly both sides of the closet sans the clothes of mine I’ve moved to the living room coffee table
  • Her various business and personal accounts, her “affairs” I suppose they are called.
  • Her phone still is connected.  Her outgoing voicemail message is the last recording of her voice I have.  How goofball is it that I’m paying the phone company $120 per month to keep 10 seconds of her voice alive?
  • Still haven’t burned the Messages to Maggie
  • Still haven’t planted the tree at Baylor
  • Her ashes still keep me company on my desk
  • I still sleep on her side of the bed
  • I still drive her car around, top down, blasting the music because it makes me feel close to her
  • I miss her so, so much every single minute.

Things Different:

  • I don’t cry every day anymore.
  • I’m out and about, being social and having fun times.  (Halloween, BTW, was off the charts fun!)
  • I have new friends who only know Maggie from her reflection in my eyes which makes me unbelievably sad.
  • I have new friends who don’t even know about Maggie.  Wow.
  • I eat very healthy and am in better shape than I’ve ever been in my life.  Maggie would be shocked and thrilled.
  • I’m working on a fun project with a friend of mine.
  • I’ve been on dates (gasp!) with other wonderful-but-not-my-wife women.
  • My memory is shot.  I mean shot.  If I don’t write things down then I won’t remember them, sometimes from hour to hour.  My psyc says that it’s reasonable for this to happen after such a long-lasting, traumatic event.  I hope it comes back soon.

Ok, let’s keep going and see where we end up.

2 thoughts on “Six Months Down

  1. Chris, I’m so very proud of you and how great you’ve done these last 6 months. Maggie would be shocked and thrilled, you are correct. I was driving to work this morning and watching the sun rise and it reminded me of how beautiful the sun rise was from your home that 6 months ago. I still have pictures of it on my phone. Gorgeous!

  2. Can’t beleive it’s been six months already and yet it almost seems liek a lifetime ago. Sometimes I have trouble wrapping my head around the fact that she is actually gone.

    I’m really glad that you’re doing well and taking care of yourself.

    Hope to see you soon,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *