Today is the 6^th month anniversary of Maggie’s death.  So much has changed.  And yet so many things are exactly the same as they were.

Things Still The Same:

•  Her side of the closet.  Heck, nearly both sides of the closet sans the clothes of mine I’ve moved to the living room coffee table
• Her various business and personal accounts, her “affairs” I suppose they are called.
• Her phone still is connected.  Her outgoing voicemail message is the last recording of her voice I have.  How goofball is it that I’m paying the phone company $120 per month to keep 10 seconds of her voice alive?
• Still haven’t burned the Messages to Maggie
• Still haven’t planted the tree at Baylor
• Her ashes still keep me company on my desk
• I still sleep on her side of the bed
• I still drive her car around, top down, blasting the music because it makes me feel close to her
• I miss her so, so much every single minute.

Things Different:

• I don’t cry every day anymore.
• I’m out and about, being social and having fun times.  (Halloween, BTW, was off the charts fun!)
• I have new friends who only know Maggie from her reflection in my eyes which makes me unbelievably sad.
• I have new friends who don’t even know about Maggie.  Wow.
• I eat very healthy and am in better shape than I’ve ever been in my life.  Maggie would be shocked and thrilled.
• I’m working on a fun project with a friend of mine.
• I’ve been on dates (gasp!) with other wonderful-but-not-my-wife women.
• My memory is shot.  I mean shot.  If I don’t write things down then I won’t remember them, sometimes from hour to hour.  My psyc says that it’s reasonable for this to happen after such a long-lasting, traumatic event.  I hope it comes back soon.

Ok, let’s keep going and see where we end up.