“everything happens for a reason” is one of the most annoying cop-outs that I always hear, and I’m glad you seem to feel the same way.

Of COURSE everything happens for a “reason”, but it never addresses the person’s point who needs guidance or just a friendly ear. Ugh, silence would be better than that terrible platitude.

Anyway, sorry to rail on a pet peeve here.

Perhaps it’s not always what we learn… but the example we set. You didn’t run away. You stood by Maggie, spit in cancer’s eye and shared the knowledge of the experience. Be proud… a lot of people learned that you’re a good man.

Hold Fast
Don MacLeod

Deep enough for you?

God Bless

I found your blog a few months ago while trying to look up something about md anderson. My husband died, at home, just over four weeks ago from Hodgkins (ironically, the most curable cancer). He had been fighting with some successes and some failures on a rather continual basis for nearly six years. And, while he hadn’t been, well, not sick in some time, his death came unexpectedly and not without a fight. We are/were both 31 now, and our hopes and dreams and plans were many of yours.

I just wanted to say “Thank you.” While I know many people who have suffered losses, I don’t know anyone who has suffered one similar, and you have. Being able to read your thoughts and feelings (some of which are similar and some of which are very different than mine) in facing a very similar situation of both loss of a – your – person and also loss of huge potential has both helped and hurt me but mostly makes me feel better to just know that someone like you – like me – is out there, like “I can do it if you can do it.”

I have never been terribly religious, but I do – or used to – consider myself relatively spiritual, but I have been having a really hard time with God as of late. I rather agree with you on the “something just went wrong” theory, but you seem pretty set on the theory that we are all here for a “mission.” I am questioning that – and everything – right now. What if your purpose was to help her through all that (or mine to help him through)? I don’t necessarily believe that, and I would do it all over again while fighting for a different outcome all the same, but it is a difficult thing to think about. Does believing in purpose and reason make you faithful or insane? I’m starting to believe that they are not so different, and maybe that’s not a bad thing… or maybe it is.

Funny you should mention laundry, though. I never minded doing laundry. I just hate folding. She didn’t mind folding (although the process usually turned out more Tom Sawyer-y than I’d prefer.) For that task (and many others), we were pretty nicely matched.

Cleaning, on the other hand, is not particularly either of our strengths.