Monthly Archives: April 2009

Figuring Things Out

Yesterday we contacted various medical research centers looking for a new trial we can get into.  We also contacted MD Anderson which by itself was frustrating.  Supposedly, after much discussion, we have a face-to-face in Houston on Monday with someone.  It’s the strangest thing, dealing with them.  It’s like they live in another universe where sanity and logic don’t exist. Continue reading Figuring Things Out

Long Nights

This cough is continuing to be a real problem.  Other issues are compounding that seem to start, at least in my mind, with the cough.  I feel like if we can get it under control things will improve a bit.  This morning I called to get us in to se Dr. Loukas for a quick once-over to see what he thinks.  Yes, I know she’s going to MD Anderson tomorrow but those folks couldn’t spot a problem even if it was properly labeled.  Even if they did, it would take them 400 people and three days to decide to do something.  And they may or may not get it right*.  In contrast, by 12:45 today we’ll have a shiny, new X-Ray of Maggie’s chest and be chatting with Dr. Loukas about what he thinks and what we can do. Continue reading Long Nights


Maggie is having continued problems with stuff in her lungs from that pesky pneumonia/cold that we brought home from Ireland.  The problems manifest as wracking coughs which turn into choking.   It’s a simple process, really.  Stuff in the lungs causes cough.  With each cough, the stuff makes for the door (a.k.a. the mouth).  Stuff eventually lodges in the air tunnel connecting the lungs with the mouth and seals the opening like gooey cement.  Breathing stops.  Panic sets in.  It’s fun. Continue reading Coughs

Doing Better

Today is better.  It’s amazing how much difference a couple of days and a little sunshine can make (and an hour-long chat with my shrink and several hours spent crying.)  Here’s the phrase of the day:  “Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.”  It’s a variation on the theme introduced in the Viktor Frankl classic “Man’s Search for Meaning“:  even the most senseless, painful, absurd situation has meaning and, for those caught therein, the search for that meaning is the key to staying sane.  To me, it seems most applicable to situations where the illusion of control in one’s destiny has been shattered.  How much I get tied up in knots and start losing my grip on reality is directly related to how much I attempt to steer our little boat against the current, refusing to let go of the illusion.  How about a little story? Continue reading Doing Better