Maggie’s Angel Day looms near.  Last year on this date, time was just about standing still.  This year the beat of the ticking clock is not so insistent.  Less screaming.  Less gnashing of teeth.  Less sandpaper grit against my heart.  Less Maggie. Continue reading Angel Day Cometh →

Somehow I stumbled across a blog of a fellow traveler, LN, who is morning her precious KT.  Her Angel Day was February 11, 2010.  LN is behind me on this journey and I too clearly recognize the pot holes she’s stumbling into.  One thing she posted really hit dead on, a list she compiled from a grief counseling session. Continue reading Grief Checklist →

So back in late May of last year, the government sent me my consolation prize – a check for $255.  Continue reading Checks in the Mail →

Going back and reading last year’s blog posts has been an amazing part of this month.  Now, I don’t mean amazing “great” as in “our vacation to Disney World was amazing.”  I mean more amazing like “Wow, watching the twin towers fall on TV was amazing.”  Every day it’s like a spiritual cleansing (and an eye bath.)    And it’s tough.  But it’s necessary.  I feel like without the homage, I’m doing a disservice, like I’m forgetting her.  Truth is I am.  It’s been just nearly a year since I’ve seen her smile.  It’s been longer than that since I’ve seen her walk, TRULY walk the floor (and oh how I loved to watch her walk.)  I could go on and on.  There’re so many, many things about her that I haven’t seen in way longer than a year (like how she danced, or how she’d run around excitedly or how she’d talk with her hands or how her hair framed her face….)  Many, many, many things.  I miss them all.  Or at least all the ones I remember. Continue reading Standing Taller →

Slowly, I’m working through the process of wrapping up Maggie’s “estate.” I put estate in quotes because, frankly, it just seems so impersonal and kind of unreal, like an inappropriate term – one I’m certainly not comfortable with. This “estate” was my sweet wife’s stuff! These were things that were important to her, parts of her life that I’m…. making go away. These are not an “estate.” These are little fragile pieces of broken dreams that I’m setting free after being trapped in the quagmire that is the legal process. Well, as of last Thursday, the judge gave me the legal power to set all her remaining dreams free. Continue reading Fun with Chase Bank →